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Home » Post Item » [13] AYA KITOU’S DIARY; about my future

[13] AYA KITOU’S DIARY; about my future

May 29, 2009

My mom and I talked about my future.

According to my mom, “Unlike people who cannot see or are handicapped, the things you were able to  do before doesn’t leave your mind. You think hard about why you can’t do it anymore, and your emotions come out. So it always starts with the struggle with your mind. Even if others may view it merely as a machine-like radio exercise, its actually a struggle with your mind, it’s a training. Aya, I think that as long as you live every day to its fullest, you’ll have a future. Aya, you cry a lot, and when I see you cry, I feel so sorry. But looking at reality, you have to understand where you are right now and make your life full, or else you’ll never live with your feet on the ground. Mom and your siblings will help you with you with things you absolutely cannot do. But when we talk about our opinions, or argue we’re  straight forward aren’t we? That’s because we think of you as a real live normal person and a sister. So take it as words full of love that will help you grow stronger mentally. This is a training as well, so that you will be able to go on when someone tells you something that stabs you in the heart. You learn love, and love what you know… basically you’re surrounded  by love and knowledge as the name of the place  where you were born, Aichi-ken.”

As I listened and took in the fact of my illness, I thought I should start thinking  about my future.

“I want to be a librarian. To do that, I wanna go to college. Then I can get a degree as a socialworker…”

“It’ll be hard to go out. you should think about something you can do at hom. For example, translating.”

“I wanna write a novel, but my life in society is pretty poor so I guess that won’t work.”

“You can decide that later, but for now do what you can do right now, and put the effort! yes the effort.”

“Okay, I guess the only thing i can rely on is my scholastic ability.”

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