[12] AYA KITOU’S DIARY; the evil 13th

I rode the bus from the gate of the school. I had to switch onto another bus so I got off at Asahibashi, crossed the street, and walked to the next bus stop. The light turned green. It’s sprinkling. An elementary school boy shared his umbrella with me. I tried to walk fast trying to keep up with his pace. All of a sudden, I fell flat forward. Blood flowed from my mouth and stained the wet asphalt in red. There was so much blood gushing out, that I became worried that I might die, and started crying. The lady from the bakery in the corner of the street rushed out and helped me get up. She let me inside and wiped my mouth with a towel.  She took me inside her car and drove me to a nearby hospital. She saw my student notebook, so she called the school for me and my teacher came. After the treatment, my teacher took me home. Lady from the bakery, teacher, thank you.

Aya’s lip was swollen and her  3 front teeth were broken and gone. When I touch it with my handkerchief, it still stains in red. I’m  a “girl.” My 3 big front teeth are gone, and now I look ugly.

My illness is wiorse than cancer!

It stole the beauty of my youth.

If I didn’t have this weird illness, i could have had a love life… I just want someone to rely on.

I just can’t take this anymore!

Kaoru no Kimi ([To my brother…]Ikeda Ryoko) said “I love you!” and left the person he loved.

Do I not have the freedom to love or be loved by someone?

In my dream, I can walk, run, and move freely… In reality, I can’t do any of that.

When I read the part where Nanako starts to run, it makes me think how much I wish I can do that. Is this servile?

I slept a whole day thinking about when I fell. K-ko-san called me asking “Are you okay?” It made me happy. I probably have to be absent for a while.

I woke up at 7:30. My sister Ako-chan is going to Nagoya. She looked so cute that I kinda sulked.

It’s good to wake up early. I got to eat the last cream puff. It was so good with the cream spreading through the inside of my mouth. It’s hard to eat without my front teeth. I had to hold my mouth close to keep it from coming out.

I have to start going to the dentist from tomorrow. I want to hurry and to be the old Aya again. I put the mirror away, which used to be on my desk.

I was reading a knitting book with my mom. This white dress that my mom used to knit for me when I was little was on there. “Mom, did you read this and make it?”

“Yupp, remember how you wore this on New Years with a pretty hair band and took a picture in front of the front door?”

If I was healthy, we would be talking happily saying “oh yah~ back then…” but it would get upsetting so we ended the conversation there.